My name is Paul M (Name and picture are changed to protect anonymity)

I remember little of my childhood. I know Mum and Dad loved me, yet I saw little of them. They both worked hard. Mr Forman seemed to enjoy humiliating me in front of the class. What Mr Glassman did I still don’t want to talk about.

When I was about 6 years old I did not want to go to school. Mum allowed me to stay home and gave me painkillers. That felt really nice, I said to myself. It was my first addiction.

I started smoking at 12 and using marihuana at 14. I sniffed my first line of cocaine when I was 16. Two years later I tried heroin. I never really liked drinking that much but also never refused a ‘Jack’ when it was available.

I married young in the hope it would settle me down. Nope. I had some kids, expecting it would help me to become more like an adult. Nope. Affairs with other women also failed to offer the escape I looked for.

I know all about how to you run away from yourself. I know all the drugs that are available!

I’m not sure when the gambling came in but together with the drugs and call girls I went from £12,000 in savings to £21,000 in debt.

When I came to Reflections I was emotional and financially broke, my wife was just about to leave me and I was heavily addicted to both street and over the counter drugs. I hit the bottom of despair and I thought about ending my life.

At Reflections they listened to me and gave me a firm assessment. They told me it would be best to send me to a treatment centre for 5 weeks to detox. It were the most difficult 5 weeks of my life but I came out clean.

Back home I started to attend fellowship meetings and began one-to-one therapy. I also was prescribed anti-depressants.

All I can say now is that therapy has been amazing, difficult, frustrating and essential. I have been given three different types of therapy for the various issues I have. Without this combined approach I think I wouldn’t have managed to change.

Am I totally healed now and is every part of my life perfect? Definitely not. What I have learned is that nothing is perfect or ever will be, at least not in this world.

I still overspend, argue with my wife, behave like an idiot and pull all-nighters. I am still a bad communicator.

The good part is I have not used any drugs for five years. However, I really struggled not to use any stimulant during parts of my recovery. It’s not that easy.

At this moment my business is growing and I can pay most of my bills on time. My relationship also has improved and I am able to be there for my children. Sleeping could be a bit better.

Before I went to Reflections my life was full of pain and suffering. I also seriously hurt those closest to me. Reflections helped me to stop using drugs and to change my self-destructive behaviour.

Thanks to them I healed the damage of my childhood trauma. This made it possible for me to rebuild my relationship and focus myself on my business and family. I still have a long way to go, but hey, life is a journey not a destination.

Paul M