My name is Kim S. (Name and picture are changed to protect anonymity)

Much of my early childhood was okay. My mum and dad seem to get on well until I was 12. At that point things seem to deteriorate when my mother got really ill. She was unwell for a number of years. Me and my siblings pulled ourselves together and we survived. Whatever does not destroy us, makes us stronger. At least thats what I thought then!

I got married, had two children and got a part-time job. It all seemed fine. Until my third child was born. After that I couldn’t get back to my usual energy levels and felt flat.

After 6 months of feeling depleted I went to my GP. He told me I was showing the classic signs of depression. I thought he was a bit mad and left it there.

Things got a bit better for some time. Energy levels rose and I started work again. My hope returned. But it didn’t last long. My boss fired me because I didn’t manage to do half the work I did before.

After that all went downhill fast. My sleep patterns became disturbed and I found it harder and harder to get up in the mornings. My food became tasteless and I lost a stone and a half in no time. After 2 months I was hardly capable to look after my kids and went back to my GP.

When I visited Reflections for the first time I knew something was wrong with me, but I didn’t quite believe I was depressed. I just wasn’t the depressed type. I had an assessment with the psychiatrist, who explained that I did have moderate level depression. That it did not mean that I was weak or stupid but just overwhelmed and needed to learn to express my emotions better and think differently.

He explained to me that anti-depressants were a good short-term solution, allowing me to function better for my children and make it easier for me to start a more structured therapy. He said that clients who use medication and psychotherapy have a 10-fold improvement in recovery compared to those who only use one approach. He also explained that the type of anti-depressants medication he wanted to prescribe were non-addictive. Based on this very helpful discussion I decided to start taking the medication.

Following his advice I also started with CBT therapy for my negative thought patterns which were causing some of the underlying problems. After a few months I was feeling slightly better. As a result the medication was reduced and I started to do some deeper work on a psychodynamic level. Nine months after I started therapy I was completely off medication. By the end of the year I stopped therapy with the option to come back for a session if I needed to.

There are still days I feel down and would rather stay in bed. However, I know now what causes it and I have the tools to cope with my negative thought patterns. My life has significantly improved. I am able to express my emotions more freely and this allows me to connect to my husband and children in a deeper and more meaningful way. I also feel calmer inside and can better deal with the stressful parts of my life. Most important for me is that I never have to become depressed again. I don’t want to return to that place where it’s dark, lonely and empty.

Nowadays I no longer feel negative about therapy. Whereas before I considered myself weak and pathetic when I needed help. How silly is that. If I hurt my leg and need a GP, I would not have a problem to make an appointment. So why not make use of a therapist when I have a psychological problem?

Ask for help, there is really no need to suffer.

Kim S